Ken Nubo

(only, perhaps she didn’t look like that but close. Too bad I didn’t bring my camera during New Year Eve!)

I was walking when I saw you sat at the street corner. But you’re not a regular bum, I see regular homeless people – usually old scruffy guys who mutter incoherent sentences – so you’re not the run of the mill homeless bum.

So I walked pass by you one time and I read your cardboard sign: “My dog, she is sick. Please spare your change to cure her”. At first I thought you were a squeegee guy, so I passed.

Then later when I came back to the place you were sitting, I observed your face carefully: your skin was too smooth and perfect for a homeless person (they don’t get the right amount of nutrient, unless you recently turned homeless), plus your hair was blond and it was bleached perfectly – you probably went to a high end hair salon and did your hair. Plus, you were CUTE.

In short, you’re a fake bum. You probably wanted extra cash because you’re a college chick who needs beer money or some more clothes, so you hustle your way by pretending to be a homeless person during New Year Eve.

Actually, your ploy was pretty smart. You simply didn’t ask for money, you said your dog was sick. You used a real dog as a prop, so I gave you a 5 dollar bill.

Did you scam me? I don’t know, but if you did, I don’t care. I once gave $5 to a homeless guy (he wasn’t begging) at the bus stop because he was beat up – his face was a bloody pulp.

Anyways, if you’re a real homeless chick, I really hope you get off the street. Hell, you could go to the local library and log on Craiglist to find a room. There are lonely white 40 something years old men that would give you room and food in exchange for sex (they probably last 2 minutes in bed anyways)

So whether you’re a real homeless chick or a con artist chick, I wish you have a wonderful 2008.

By the way, next week I’m going to head downtown, I better see you at the same spot again.

Much Love,
The Infamous Ken Nubo